You Make Me Wanna Snoop

You can see through these jars, so make sure not to hide anything in them. That would be stupid. Everyone would be able to see what you had put there, and you wouldn't be hiding anything. At all. Get with the program and use these for things you want everyone to see, like candy, cotton balls, and Metamucil. If you were Michelle Duggar, you could fill one up with your kids' baby teeth.

Rainbow pair - Sold.

"Goodies" $10

The Best Guest

The problem with this snarky sign is that most likely, people won't know who they are. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the guests who bring happiness by coming will think they are the ones who bring happiness by leaving, and they might leave, which would make you sad. Alternately, guests who you want to leave are obviously clueless (they won't leave no matter how many times you yawn, look at the clock, and change into your pajamas), and will think they bring happiness by coming, and will stay longer. Maybe even forever. Or they will come more often. Like everyday. This would be terrible.

Have I sold you on having this sign in your home or what?!

$5

Starry Starry Needlepoint

This is not your Grandmother's needlepoint! This is your cool aunt from Mendocino's needlepoint. I didn't crop the flats of water out of this photo so that one could get an idea of the size of this lovely thing. It's big. It celebrates diversity. It celebrates the way the sky looks at night. It celebrates the 70s, on your wall, without saying word or making any loud celebration noises.

My husband found this in a wonderful old 70s infused home, complete with avocado green countertops and crusty, flattened shag carpet. Him and I have been living with it and loving it tenderly for a while, but we realize we can never give it what it deserves, which is wall space. Lots of wall space. We'd like to find it a nice home, with or without shag carpet.

Tray Chic

This art deco tray has a woman's face on it. I can't decide if she looks snooty or sexy, so it's up to you. Also up to you is what to put on her face. If you weren't planning to hang this on the wall, you could be using it as what it is: a tray. We have an 8"x14" space here, so you could fit a few drinks on her face. With clear glasses and clear drinks, you could still see her face. You could also keep her face on a dresser and adorn it with jewelry and hair baubles. Her face also wouldn't make a bad makeup tray in the bathroom, or a face to put your keys, wallet and cell phone. Did I say "face"? I meant to say face. That's right.

Over the Moon

This Texas Ware plate is for someone who loves space. When I think about space, I get frightened. It's so big and has no end! I could get sucked out there one day and never be able to come back, like in Star Trek Voyager. The other day my husband asked me if I ever think about the fact that pretty soon, a huge earthquake will probably kill tons of us and change life as we know it for the rest of us. I said I prefer not to think about it, and that's how I feel about space. It's just too scary for me.

It would also be an awesome present for someone who was born on July 28th, 1969, because that is when the historic event depicted here happened. I know this because it says so on the plate.

$10

Fake Nature

Do you love nature? If you do, then these whimsical Mexican wood carvings are for you. They are of nature. They depict lovely flowers, acorns, and even an insect! Nature, nature, nature.

Do you hate nature? Do you hate being outside in the sunshine, wind, and fresh air? Do you hate bugs and dirt and activities that don't involve sitting? These wood carvings are for you. Hang them on your wall, and all the beauty of the outdoors will be in your home without all the hassle of leaving the house, packing a delicious picnic, or standing.

$40 (discounted from $60)

Sativa Diva

One of my favorite things about estate sales is seeing peoples' lives through their homes, and especially the objects they chose to surround themselves in these homes. Stuff says more about a person than they ever could if they were alive and standing in front of you.

My husband found this poster at an estate sale alongside many other relics of appreciation. Except for some pinholes at the edges, it's perfect. The man who enjoyed this poster puffed, puffed, and passed on, but we can still ascertain from this possession of his that he really loved his weed, so much so that he displayed his adoration on the wall in the form of a beautiful woman. Everyone who visited him could see it, and know. Know what? I think you know.

I think you know someone (as much as anyone can really know someone) who loves pot so much that they would want this poster. This is a good poster, man. I mean, look at Mary Jane here. That dress. That hair. Her feet have got to be so clean, and I bet she smells good.

Coked Up

I found these vintage coke trays separately: one at a church sale, and one in the bottom of a kitchen drawer at an estate sale. They were both sticky and disgusting, but now they are not, because I cleaned them with ammonia. I love ammonia. There are few things more satisfying than spending an evening with an ammonia and water solution, a sponge and some grimy thrift items.

Although they were found separately, I think these trays were destined to be together on a wall in someone's kitchen or dining room, but not mine, because my kitchen has no wall space, and my dining room is adorned with a poster of the vascular system that my mother thinks is disgusting to have displayed in an eating area.