Opening Up

This German-made wall mounted bottle opener could save you from the heartbreak of two handed bottle opening. Place a small waste basket underneath to catch the caps, and it's on.

One of the best things about this is its versatility. You can open both soft and hard beverages with it. You could open a fancy specialty store soda (because those are the only ones that come in bottles that require an opener anymore) and then, seconds later, a beer, and then mere minutes after that, a malt beverage. Damn. You sure know how to party.

$7 (discounted from $10)

Meow Do You Do?

This man here is a kitty treat receptacle. Much like a real cat, when you tip back this cute guy's head to get something out, he meows. He takes two AA batteries, which is not so much like a real cat.

Please try not to feel constrained by the labels and imagery going on here. Yes, the cat is holding a fish and has a mouse in his pocket, but these are the sorts of treats he must catch himself. You need only buy kitty treats from the pet store to fill his pleasantly burgeoning belly. If you want to go CRAZY, don't even put cat treats in here even though it is clearly labeled for the purpose of cat treating. Put whatever in there. I certainly won't tell.

$7 (discounted from $10)

Lion's Brew

My husband found this striking Lowenbrau German Beer sign in someone's garage under a stack of Playboys so old that there weren't even any pictures of naked ladies in them. There were just drawings of naked women. No nipples. My favorite thing about this sign is that it looks like it's glowing all the time, no matter how much or what type of light is on it. It probably has some crazy chemicals in it. Put it in your kid's beer themed bedroom, or be selfish and get it for your bodacious game room or your subtly irreverent dining room.

$20 (discounted from $30)

Fake Nature

Do you love nature? If you do, then these whimsical Mexican wood carvings are for you. They are of nature. They depict lovely flowers, acorns, and even an insect! Nature, nature, nature.

Do you hate nature? Do you hate being outside in the sunshine, wind, and fresh air? Do you hate bugs and dirt and activities that don't involve sitting? These wood carvings are for you. Hang them on your wall, and all the beauty of the outdoors will be in your home without all the hassle of leaving the house, packing a delicious picnic, or standing.

$40 (discounted from $60)