Owl Right Now, I Said Owl Right Now

When I was in 5th grade, we dissected owl pellets for science class. I remember thinking they smelled terrible, but then later realizing it was one of my group member's breath. Still, I will always think of owl pellets as smelling like poopy asparagus yogurt, which is too bad. They might have a lovely odor. One of my group members (not with the breath) was a boy I loved, who did not love me back. I "accidentally" touched his hand, thinking I could brush it and get my fix of him, but once our skins met I couldn't control myself; I couldn't pull my hand off his. He recoiled in icy disgust, displaying his snowy canines as his lips curled up into his pallid nostrils as he said, "EEWWWWW." He's married now, to someone way prettier than me, so there you go. And, we found a mouse skull in the pellet.

This owl doesn't make pellets, so you, unlike me, will be safe from heartbreak, especially if you use it to display flowers, breadsticks, magic wands, or for pouring hot maple syrup at breakfast for 50.

P.S. OMG his foots!!! Totally cute.

$20