A Bucket for Phuket, Or Wherever

I'm not the world's most intrepid world traveler, but I like to think that I've traversed a fair amount of the planet's surface, not counting watery surfaces. Then I took some dumb facebook quiz that said I had only traveled 6% of the world, and it kind of hurt my feelings. I don't know why, because I'm a homebody who doesn't understand wanderlust and missed tuna salad sandwiches like crazy when she stayed in Guatemala for a summer. I mean, I like my tuna salad. I like it with Doritos in the sandwich. Not only is tuna salad not a dish easily found in Guatemala (I didn't find it), but they don't even have Nacho Cheese Doritos. They have "Queso Atrevido", which means "sassy/daring cheese" and does not taste like my North American uranium-orange chips of choice. I like being home, where I can eat my delicious tuna-chip sandwiches and I have access to all my fashion accessories.

If you are the opposite of me, this is the ice bucket for you. Travel-icious!

$10

Open Your Owls

I already used up my amazing owl-pellet-romance-frustration story on another post. What am I going to do? I had such a hoot doing the other one. This strigine object will open bottles for you in style, but only at night.

Constellations and Libations

To see stars, you either have to go outside, or get punched in the head*. The latter is definitely unpleasant, and the former is sometimes unpleasant, especially if it is chilly outside and you are one of those ridiculous people who is always cold and always asks hot-blooded me if I am cold and if I need a coat as though I were a child of five. That annoys me. Also, If I were five, I'd punch you in the head, because I was not cold then either.

Just keep your observations about my state of dress or undress to yourself and admire these highball glasses, complete with carrying case for your next stargazing excursion.

*For the purposes of this entry, these are the only two ways, although in reality there are many others.

$40

Stir It Cup

With its plethora of classic drink recipes around the outside, spoon, and strainer, this simple tool does not require much of you, unlike your stupid boyfriend or overbearing girlfriend. Tell he or she to go shake it up somewhere else while you peacefully stir up a glass-full of tasty awesome with your new vidrious friend. Now you're alone, but at least you've got a nice buzz going on and no one there who requires that you feign interest in some sports dude or how plaid is in for Fall but you know, not just any plaid. Screw plaid. Screwdriver!

$10

Ice, ice, maybe.

How unimaginative would it be to use this ice bucket for ice? So obvious. So pedestrian. Speaking of walking, why not use this as a carryall? You could fit a wallet, a phone, keys, and your daily chocolate allowance in here with no issues. I know what you're going to say, but don't worry! It's insulated. It's also a little taller than your average bucket of the ice-keeping persuasion, and it's also a little better, because it's vintage. Take it to the airport. The big fancy x-ray machines have nothing on Mr. Bucket here.

I am really into my husband. You can tell from this photo that I never leave his side unless absolutely necessary, especially while he is photographing for my blog. Like this ice bucket, he is also a little better than your average husband, but sadly he does not have cool gold detailing on the top like the bucket does. That would be the best.

$60 (I know, but I'm not sure I want to let go of this one.)

Specific Rim

I imagine this gold-rimmed pitcher and glass set being amazing at aiding and abetting your uncontrollable sangria habit. Invite some people over. If they weren't your friends before, they sure will be after you ply them with fruity wine laced with brandy. Sangria means "bloodletting". Bloodletting used to be a very popular remedy for whatever ails you. Headache? Cut you. Sniffles? Slice open that vein! Stab wound? Good for you. Lets all that nasty red stuff out. Since we don't commonly practice bloodletting anymore, let sangria be your substitute. Next time you have a hangnail, you'll be prepared. You're welcome.

$40

Keep Me Abreast

Do I even need to write something clever about this? No. No, I do not. Happy Friday, everyone!

Beer in Here

I've always admired the ferocity and unabashed loyalty of Raiders fans. Like this glass, they are clear about what they have going on inside, and will crush your skull if hurled hard enough. Drink the warm blood of your enemies from this hefty cup. I won't be able to join you. Black and silver really wash out my complexion.

$5