Shmutzy Roll

I went to a nature-y day camp with horseback sitting and fishing and watermelon hunting for a couple weeks when I was eight. It was really fun. The counselors would take Tootsie rolls, form them into poo-shaped poo-looking things, and leave them by the side of the hiking trail on top of some leaves or something. Then, as we came upon them (the fake poops) the counselor would say, "Look! I wonder what kind of animal made this poop." Then they would prod it and smell it and look at it until finally they would say, "You know, the best way to find out what kind of animal made a poop is to just..." and then they'd pop it into their mouth and say, "Popf in inna yuh mouf!" They would chew the faux poo with relish and all the kids would go, "Ewwww!".

It never, ever got old. Nothing does when you're eight. Now that I'm all grown up and old and jaded, I don't think poop jokes are funny at all, and all I care about is cash money, which can be kept in this Tootsie Roll Coin Bank.

$5