Hand Over Hand

You can't hold up your books with your hands all day. Or can you? If you can, do, or any combination of can and do, I have two questions for you:

1) How strong are your arms??? Damn. The endurance you must have.

2) Do you have a job or friends or anything like that that would require abandoning your station at the bookcase?

If you had these bookends that look like hands, maybe you wouldn't be such a sad person with your big arms and shoulder discomfort and sleep deprivation.

Easy Cheesy

I'm not a fan of mice. They ruin my dry goods, they smell bad when they die, and they aren't as cute as owls. Owls are precious. That said, I would still be polite during Chucky Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre. Yes, even though mice are not my thing, I would not heckle, yawn, sigh, spit, cough, tinker, fidget, twiddle anything, whisper to my theatre companion during dramatic monologues, or even hurl old greasy slices of pizza at his obnoxious little whiskered face, because that's just what I do. I'm a very decent person.

This is an insulated backpack for carrying hot pizza. That's what she said.

$5

Boop Job

You're a masculine sort of guy. You definitely want a mirror in your bathroom, but you don't want anyone to know it's there. I mean, what would the guys think of you when they came over for your weekly Bunco and cocktail night? But, You're tired of getting that little powder compact out of your vanity table every single time you check your teeth for food boogers and your pores for imperfections. Betty to the rescue! She'll keep your secret, just as long as you keep hers.

Opening Up

This German-made wall mounted bottle opener could save you from the heartbreak of two handed bottle opening. Place a small waste basket underneath to catch the caps, and it's on.

One of the best things about this is its versatility. You can open both soft and hard beverages with it. You could open a fancy specialty store soda (because those are the only ones that come in bottles that require an opener anymore) and then, seconds later, a beer, and then mere minutes after that, a malt beverage. Damn. You sure know how to party.

$7 (discounted from $10)