Social Ladder

One day, when I was in Middle School, I decided I wanted to be in the popular group. I wasn't dissatisfied with the friends I had, I just... I was 13. I wanted to be friends with those other girls who someone, at some point, had decided comprised THE popular group, even though my class was so small that there were only two distinguishable groups of girls.

Still, I wanted to make the jump from just OK to like totally popular. I devised a plan. Pay careful attention, because it worked, and it could work for you, and being popular is of the utmost importance.

I thought to my hormonally besieged self, how can I infiltrate this group? I can't just walk up to them at lunch and ask if I can sit with them and eat my turkey sammich while we take turns reading aloud the sexy parts of Forever by Judy Blume. Oh, no I could not. I remembered reading a story as a child about a young warrior challenged to slay a big, scary dragon. The dragon had imposing scales like iron skillets that were impenetrable by any weapon. The young warrior ran underneath the dragon and noticed that a scale was missing, and he shot the dragon with an arrow right there, and the dragon DIED! And that's why we don't have dragons anymore, which is sad but less dangerous. Anyway, I had to find a weak spot in the forcefield of the popular clique. I decided that the weak link was, drumroll, the least popular popular girl. That's correct. She got the least attention of any of those girls. She was just an add-on. Soooooo, I paid her some attention. I befriended her. I was IN. My plan worked.

And then I lived happily ever after and found this collar-type necklace at an estate sale. It looks like a ladder, and it will definitely make you look popular.

$15